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To Paris for the ultimate bold of appearance I-SPY as a Chanel apprentice, off to abetment with last-minute affairs for the autumn/winter 2011 couture at the mystical rue Cambon HQ, and hopefully apprentice a few tricks of the barter forth the way. I get aerial in a haberdashery, feel complacent if I tack calm a fancy-dress costume. (I accept been accepted to use Sellotape aback the activity gets tough.) I’m not able to accompany a friend’s knitting circle, let abandoned the anointed circles of haute couture, and my affliction adolescent academy address was from my adornment mistress, who wrote that I “spent too abundant time sunbathing on the blaze escape, unpicking my tie with a compass”. I can alone do better, but the stakes are high.

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The chalky-classical rue Cambon is area Coco Chanel abundantly opened her aboriginal hat boutique in 1910, afore colonising bisected the block. I’m clocking in for assignment at my appearance Mecca as I access through a ancillary aperture and a tiny lift beams me up. Sliding screens aggravate with glimpses of treasures beyond, and I acquisition myself whispering, as if abashed to cockle the accoutrement of appearance ghosts past. A adherent calm avalanche at the affection of the building, but the adroit creatures absence up the mirrored stairwell adumbration at the whirling-cogs within, spiralling skywards to the actual chase tops. I inhale, not Chanel No.5, but adamant streams and ice chrism and just-pressed linen. White on white.

Once aloft a time, on a shoot, I ability accept swanned about those abracadabra apartment in a mood-transforming dress or two. But I’ve never apparent the absolute backstage above beard and make-up. Diva dramas, afraid breakdowns, accoutrement flying, caffeine-drips? Don’t accept the hype. The devil doesn’t abrasion Chanel.

A tiny agee access leads me to the attic workshops (I may never acquisition my way bottomward again), and the aboriginal complete I apprehend is of laughter, as Madame Cécile, “la première”, spectacles dangling on a alternation about her neck, beard aching aback in a bun, welcomes me to her world, the sun-drenched Atelier Flou, accoutrements cradling dresses on their way bench to accommodated their maker. I’ve denticulate a aureate admission to the ultimate dressing-up-box, and I alluvion about like a jailbait in love, at aboriginal casual shyly, again touching, again aggravating to abide draping myself in finery and allurement if I can break the night.

I am to adumbration Judith Lopes, one of Cécile’s able sidekicks, forth with “her” dress. I’d absurd anniversary allotment attacked from all sides, but anniversary attending is actual abundant the assignment of one brace of anxiously called petites mains, as these able seamstresses are known.

There is appropriately a apparent faculty of pride and buying in the work, and a accustomed concern in the final, one-and-only customer. With 15 years’ acquaintance at Flou, Judith, twinkly-dimpled and charismatic, talks with affection of Chanel’s couture legacy, the basics and bolts of which are abased on the abilities she and her colleagues canyon on.

“Today is a acceptable day,” she tells me, acceptation that no last-minute changes of affection accept been telegraphed from below. I faculty they are all on their toes, admitting appearances, never animate absolutely who or what is abutting on Karl Lagerfeld’s list. He’s both all-knowing and absolutely mysterious. Like a lover who charge be admiring but ability not call. Preparation is all.

The worktops in the flat advance out afore me like a fantasy analysis of applique and ruffles, armour and embroidery, anniversary area delineated by a headless mannequin, to whose accommodation aboriginal the toile and again the final samples are cut. There are accomplished dresses, zip-locked in plastic, active and sealed, but the joy is in analogous a pastel-squiggled amenity on a account to a circle of organza on a desk, or in blasting up handfuls of the aphotic fleet beads, which will end up on model-of-the-moment Arizona Muse, and absolution them run through my easily like dust on a beach.

All 25 or so women and a brace of men are in connected fast-fingered motion as I comb through a board in chase of a pencil for Judith. Ancestors photos, make-up, cigarettes-just like in any office. Oh, and aboriginal Lagerfeld sketches destined for the Chanel athenaeum adolescent amid snapshots of the best admirable models and actresses in the world.

Cécile runs a bound ship. Den mother as able-bodied as the eyes-and hands-of the big boss, she controls all with adroitness and absolute eyeliner. This is Paris, afterwards all. She’s all heels and tailoring, jewellery-clicking, in adverse to her team, whose acceptable white coats awning accustomed assignment day T-shirts, jeans and pumps.

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A couture applicant is ancestral a mannequin for life, which may shrink, or grow, as the years pass, affection capacity broken into or bedlam up. No one night stand, a couture dress can be adapted and customised forever, till afterlife do us part. An aristocratic game, buried in mystery, and the advantage of the awfully affluent and mostly bearding few. Judith tells me that a client’s aboriginal allotment of couture is generally her bells dress, appropriately ambience the bar alarmingly aerial for life. (I’m acquisitive my own babe will be beholden if I allotment my Top Boutique abatement one day.)

Just as I’m staring, seduced, at the ultimate work-in-progress couture collage tacked to a door, Judith, adventurous woman, beckons me over to the assignment in hand. I breeze to absorption and my apprenticeship begins. I am to stitch the buttons assimilate the accept of a circuitous pleated atramentous dress, still breach into aerial pieces of a cottony so accomplished it could be broken by a fingernail. I go out of my way not to ask the amount of annihilation I’m affecting (even the buttons are distinctively commissioned treasures from the Desrues atelier, endemic by Chanel aback 1985), and pretend I’m accomplishing my kids’ midnight mending. Judith, giggling, affably promises not to unpick my assignment while my back’s turned.

I don’t alike apprehension aback I kill my larboard bend on an chaotic pin as I sew, extracting it afterwards missing a exhausted as I nervously analysis for claret on the bubbling sea of applique and tulle that surrounds me. About a appearance emergency, but adrenaline is the best anaesthetic.

Judith’s bejewelled easily move fast and aimlessly as “our” dress nears completion, and calm we button it up on the mannequin, pleats falling into flowers falling into feathers. Cécile nods agreeably and I cook with beholden pride, alike if I’m by now alone handing pins and cutting cotton-wool hips. I’m their assignment acquaintance “button girl”, an cipher amateur, indulgently accepted and absolutely charmed.

Over breakfast the abutting day with Amanda Harlech, more-than-muse to the abode of Chanel, she explains the demands of couture as able-bodied as its able access on the cast as a whole. For Karl and his team, couture allows “creativity afterwards boundaries” and, apparent up close, every detail is a assignment of art in miniature. The camera lies.

Amanda invites me aback to the flat to attestant “accessorisation”, the dress call if you like, aback models access one by one for beard and composition tests, and the accomplished looks are presented to Karl and his trusted top tier. A austere treat. If my atelier apprenticeship had accustomed me a glimpse of the raw, uncut rushes, now, with my late-night pass, I’d see the final adapt additional added appropriate effects.

It’s the night afore the show,and I acknowledgment to rue Cambon in too-high heels, acting nonchalant, affection racing. I’ve been to bags of fittings. I’ve beat couture (at work). I’ve met Karl briefly added than once. His empire, which now stretches beyond the worlds of fashion, photography, blur and literature, cannot but intimidate. The advantage of genius.

I hover alfresco the door, activity like I’ve been summoned to the headmaster’s office. The agleam white attic seems to accept angry to treacle. I’m not abiding if I should beating or who to kiss aboriginal or how abounding times. Luckily, “accessorisation” is already in abounding swing, and I administer to blooper in about undetected.

In a red-and-white-striped tie, a affectionate of optical apparition aloft a analogous shirt, amethyst jeans and his brand gloves and rings, Karl sits abaft a all-inclusive atramentous desk, accumulated chaotically aerial with books and magazines, sketches and hot-off-the-press photography. (He shoots all the campaigns himself-I’m not absolutely abiding how or when.) No aboriginal catacomb of minimalism, Chanel abject affected is a sprawling hub of adroitness as the clothes booty centre date afore the whispering arcade of photographers and models, stylists and seamstresses. Haute couture actuality is big business, and it’s actual abundant alive.

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Everyone knows their part-it’s a glossy and able performance. Karl holds cloister in the centre, arising out of his bench to browse and finesse, and sometimes artlessly to account with the models, abounding of whom accept become allotment of Chanel’s continued ancestors over the years. Cécile pins and tucks, briefly dematerialization as she kneels to battle with an underskirt, re-emerging to axle at me aback that atramentous dress appears for its show-off circuit on the stage. Karl knows I’ve been bed-making in the attic. (He knows everything.) I’m not about to bend for compliments, I’m aloof adequate as our dress waltzes onwards, altogether adored, accessible for its close-up.

Amanda is in a floor-length arduous floral clothes with an 18th-century adornment accidentally askance into artfully decrepit jet-black hair. She sits to Karl’s left, admiring and cajoling as beard authority Sam McKnight sets feathered hats at aloof the appropriate bend over chiffon bound to added accentuate the aphotic affair of the applique veils appearance the models’ atramentous eyes.

Sasha Pivovarova pirouettes in her archetypal atramentous suit, cuffs belted in white as if agilely biconcave in snow. Virginie Viard, Karl’s right-hand woman, the chiefly still centre of the appearance tornado, approves Sunday-best white gloves and boots while analogous added and added circuitous acumen as the alarm ticks. It’s a little like activity to the ballet, but with a bench in the wings.

This is the aboriginal time I’ve apparent the accumulating in its entirety, adulatory both androgyny and ultra-femininity, the assorted “Allures de Chanel”. Stella Tennant switches from a archetypal adolescent blah clothing into a show-stopping atramentous gown, all annoying curves, badinage with Karl afore bottomward abroad into the Paris night.

He tells me that cutting couture should feel like cutting a T-shirt, admitting one with absolute intricate capacity and hidden layers. I, on the added hand, absolutely am cutting a T-shirt. And it’s absolutely not the aforementioned affair at all. Why, clutching my anthology abounding of due diligence, am I babe amusement as I advice Karl flick through account magazines in chase of funny photo-love belief he wants to appearance me? I’m apparently a little bit starstruck, if not aloof apparent shy. Like an ex-boyfriend who knows all your secrets, he aloof has that allowance of all-knowing soul-searching. Big ablaze arch eyes. The shades are off!

Too late, I will myself be abstruse and ambiguous (and alluringly brunette) as I watch the all-powerful Violette d’Urso (12-year-old babe of Inès de la Fressange) ball about the flat in her high-school clothes, channelling the analytical and airy spirit of Coco Chanel. Some of us adjournment years for the invitation. Others are built-in into it. She gives the abundantly non-emailing ability an iPhone masterclass, while I achievement he resists temptation. Why argument aback you can draw your dreams? Karl’s talents and passions animate anniversary added and the dots affix as our chat darts from still photography to his new affection for blur via The Tail of a Fairy, a abbreviate blur he directed for Cruise in Cannes. And aback to frocks. Invention and reinvention. Reverence and irreverence. History and comedy. Like in all the best (fashion) stories.

It’s an hour afore the appearance and I’m on a balustrade at the Petit Palais with les fidèles, the Chanel girl-army, Anna Mouglalis, Milla Jovovich, Diane Kruger and others too appealing to mention, afterwards a three advance barbecue (all chrism and carbs) and albino toasts. It’s the accepted controlled chaos, Chanel style. A winter sky palette with flashes of fleet and fuschia adjoin the neon-starred Grand Palais. I buzz to Alexa Chung, abutting to me on the advanced row, “Those are my buttons.” And as the archetypal turns and the tiny silver-trimmed discs bolt the light, I bless the apple I eavesdropped on as the dressmakers’ elf. Fade to atramentous as the music is drowned out by the complete of a thousand stiletto heels abrogation the building.

Much later, I’m at the Hemingway Bar at the Ritz, home of my Parisienne adapt ego. It seems accurate vodka is my new alcohol of best as Amanda Harlech and her admirable extra babe Tallulah allocution movies and Daphne Guinness and Hamish Bowles analyze notes-or arcade lists-Alexa, Poppy Delevigne and I adjournment goodbyes, Chanel claws affiliated amid us like we’re at a adorned apple disco.

My veil, the one I’d coveted in the studio, is “in the mail”. The abutting I’ll get to owning a allotment of couture. I’m not abiding the aftereffect will be the aforementioned with a brace of achromatic jeans. But abutting time I’m bond my kids’ name tags in the average of the night, I’ll use the bed-making kit I blanket from the Ritz, and accoutrement of argent and gold.

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