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We accept a new affair that has circumscribed up in our home. Actually, the botheration is there hasn’t been abundant “cropping” lately.

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Dan, our 16-year-old son, is absolution his beard abound out. After years of accepting fizz cuts, he has absitively to actualize a new character with his agrarian “flow.”

Dan’s mom wants him to get it cut. Dan’s earlier sister wants him to get it cut. Dan’s adolescent brother wants him to get it cut. Only Dan’s accompanying sister is on his side, and she absolutely goes aback and alternating about it.

He doesn’t attending bad, really. His beard is curly, and it doesn’t lay bottomward the way anyone wants it to. He brand to run his fingers through it, propping it up. It about looks like a bouffant hairdo. He looks like he is accessible for his aerial school’s assembly of “Grease,” although the aerial academy isn’t putting on “Grease” this year. Shame, really.

If this was 1970, he would fit in. He’d be accepted for his ‘do.

Back in 1970, I had absolutely continued hair. I was in aerial school, and I had absolutely coiled hair, and by my inferior year I was cutting it continued abundant to cull it into a ponytail, if necessary. Continued beard was important in the 1970s.

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My dad didn’t mind, and he was adequately austere about best things. My mom didn’t mind; in fact, she told me time and afresh she admired she had my hair.

That is why it’s adamantine for me to accomplish a big accord out of Dan’s bearded situation. It’s not like he is accomplishing annihilation criminal, or inappropriate. He’s aloof cogent himself, and we accouchement of the 1970s abstruse that such announcement is a acceptable thing.

But sister Haley and brother Kyle and accompanying Lindsey are accouchement of the 21st century. Appearances matter. The girls appetite to attending their best at all times. Apparently, it’s important to them that their affinity looks his best, too. Not fair, if you ask me. Dan doesn’t accept any such rules for the girls.

I’m not abiding why his Mom hates it. She does like to accumulate things apple-pie and orderly, and Dan’s beard isn’t orderly. Maybe that’s it.

I can’t anguish too abundant about Dan’s hair, because I accept two added concerns, in commendations to his sartorial splendor.

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Dan brand to abrasion baseball-style caps. I can’t accuse about that; I like to abrasion brawl caps. But Dan wears his caps backward, always, and I can’t angle that look.

I will apologize in beforehand to any readers who like to abrasion caps backward. But to me, it aloof looks stupid, And it makes Dan attending stupid, as in “not smart.” It’s about as if baseball-style caps charge to appear with cutting instructions.

His affectionate grandfathering asks Dan every time he sees him with his cap on astern what assemblage he is a affiliate of.

Then, to accomplish affairs worse, Dan has for years taken to cutting his pants in such a way that you can see his boxers. He doesn’t absolutely cull his pants bottomward to actualize the look; he aloof never pulls them up. Kyle has taken to battling his earlier brother in that style, and I accusation Dan for that.

But, you apperceive what? Like so abounding added things that appear with parenting, like teaching kids how to ride bikes or bathe or read, eventually the kids get it. And now that Dan is 16, he cares a little bit added about his actualization in what I would accede a complete way. He wears a belt now. He doesn’t assert it; it supports nothing, really. But he’s cutting it and that’s a start.

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I absolutely adulation Dan’s self-expression. I accept approved back Day One to get the kids to accept that there is article to be said for actuality a little bit altered from time to time. Fitting in is nice but continuing out is not so bad.

Besides, it’s not like he’s gotten a tattoo.

Don’t alike get me started on that topic.

• Kent McDill is a freelance writer. He and his wife, Janice, accept four children, Haley, Dan, Lindsey and Kyle.

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